The trauma bond, and how you can break free

A trauma bond is having loyalty to a person who repeatedly hurts you. It's hard to break, especially when it's a significant other, a close family member, or a long time friend. I've had to break the ties in all of these situations, and it's not easy! When I'm in a relationship with anyone I love, I'm in 500%, so breaking any bond I create takes a part of my soul with it. I know how it fells, so don't beat yourself up if it takes a long time to do it. The signs that indicate you might be trauma bonded is when you talk about the abusive situation to others you act as if it's not a big deal, and you make excuses for the person you're trauma boded to. You feel stuck in a situation you cannot get out of, and you spend time and energy trying to explain the same issues to the other person while trying to fix the same situations, and the other person will not accept that they need to change. You've tried to detach from this person, but you cannot stay away from them, and you let them in every time they come back. The trauma bond in some cases can almost make you feel incomplete without this person in your life. We usually stay trauma bonded due to intermittent reinforcement, which is when an individual will put you down and then will say they didn't mean it a certain way, or will apologize and say something nice so you ignore their bad behavior. It's a roller coaster ride that you need to get off! In order to break this bond you will first have to go no contact, and then you can journal, pray, and I would recommend finding a coach or therapist you can speak to about your situation. I also am an advocate for celibacy, spiritual baths, and saging when you are attempting to break a trauma bond, but these topics come from my spiritual point of view and may not align with everyone, and that's ok. The goal is to break the trauma bond, and whatever works for each person may be different. Once you break a trauma bond you may think twice before you start getting too close to someone again, because you will understand the sacrifice and dedication it took to make this happen. It's best to be in relationships with individuals who are on your same vibration, and to be incredibly picky when it comes to someone you date or intend to share your body with, so you will not have to go through such turmoil if the relationship ends. If another person is trauma bonded to someone else, that energy could affect you if you start a relationship with them, so it's important to know who someone else is still connected to before getting into another intimate relationship. Breaking a trauma bond takes will, persistence, and forgiveness of self. It's time to set your soul free, so you can share yourself with healthy individuals who will treat you respectfully, and who will consciously create safe relationships and environments to engage in.