The no contact rule, and why it's effective with narcissists

One of the most effective ways in dealing with narcissists, once you discover your in a relationship with one and want to end it, is to go no contact. If you discover this while in a relationship and you need to plan an exit strategy, then it's best to act for awhile, until you get away and find a safe place to live. It's sad that we have to act sometimes with these individuals, but when you are in a state of survival you do what is necessary. Going no contact is going to take allot of strength, and it needs to be done once, so if you are still on the fence and think you may renig on it, then it's best to build up confidence and strength before you make the final decision. If you block and unblock the narcissist you will be seen as a joke, and the narcissist will keep emotionally abusing you and the cycle will continue. When I left my last relationship with a narcissist over three years ago, I blocked this individual from having any access to me, and I never looked back. This means blocking the individual and people associated with them, who are considered the flying monkeys, on your phone, email, and all social media accounts. This is also a way to make people respect you. You have to do what you say, and mean it! The narcissist will still find ways to monitor you on social media by creating fake accounts, but as long as you are aware of this you can be prepared and protect yourself online. The narcissist needs your attention and reactions to gain fuel, so if they cannot get this from you they will have to find it elsewhere. After you go no contact you can dive into the healing process. This process can be intense and will consist of breaking the trauma bond between you and this individual. I'll speak about the trauma bond in my next post. I don't believe you can fully heal if the narcissist has access to you, because you maintain an energetic cord or soul tie between the two of you. You will not be able to successfully get into another relationship connected to someone else, and this is a hard bond to break. I will give some remedies in my next post. So if you are ready to break this cycle once and for all, then no contact is the place to start. If I did it then you can do it, and I am someone who leads with my heart, so heartbreak and breakups set me back sometimes for years. It wont be easy at first to stay no contact, but it's imperative if you want to heal and have a healthy relationship in the future. You can seek therapy or coaching during this time. It's time for you to break free from this bondage once and for all!